British Album: Long Blondes - Someone To Drive You Home
British Breakthrough Act: Hot Puppies
British Live Act: The Others
International Male Solo Artist: Simple Kid
International Female Solo Artist: Joan As Policewoman
International Group: The Blood Arm
International Album: Couse and the Impossible - The World Should Know
International Breakthrough Act: The Grates
Outstanding Contribution to Music: Sultans of Ping
There are lists circulating in other places (BBC, NME, etc) showing a different list of winners, such as Amy Winehouse, Orson, Oasis, etc etc. Please ignore that list, it was a first draft and not the intended one for publication.
If there's one thing that makes me angry every February it's the Brits.
1. I have to watch ITV for 2 hours. That's as much ITV as I am going to watch in any one year. 2. I thought Mastercard had produced the worst adverts possible during Euro 2006, but oh no, they're excelling themselves now! 3. There's a horrible constant squeal all the way through the show. (It's the audience). 4. Corinne Bailey Rae. 5. Tom Baker on voiceovers. Well done, that's really encapsulated the fucking zeitgeist, hasn't it.
Plus a load of people who are terrible win prizes, the live performances are horrible, yadda yadda.
My 3 year old loved the Scissor Sisters routine. "Look, they've got no bodies! They're flying!" Says it all really. I sent him to bed straight after that.
Oh Jesus, the Arctic Monkeys have not only won an award, they've dressed up as the Wizard of Oz. (walks off to kick cat)
So what's good about it?
Russell Brand - who I love for this reason alone: words, moving pictures. Half of his routine seemed to be in this morning's Daily Mirror - nice to get paid twice for one bit of work, innit?
As ever, XRRF provided a great running commentary, explaining with wit what I can only spit out angered abuse.
I told this joke to 10 people and not one of them thought it was funny. Is it me, or is it them?
A guy gets on a long-distance flight. He's just getting comfortable when somebody sits down next to him. He looks up and wow, it's Garry Kasparov. Kasparov basks for a moment in the recognition.
Some way into the flight, the meals are cleared away and Garry produces an elegant little wooden travel chess set. He begins to play. After a while Kasparov asks the guy whether he would like to play chess to kill time. The guy replies, 'Hey Garry, You think I don't know who you are? I can't compete with a world champion.'
Kasparov - 'How about if I play left handed ?'
The guy thinks about this for a minute, then agrees. He is demolished in 8 moves, and is inconsolable for the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend, who asks him how the flight was. 'It was terrible,' he says. 'Completely humiliating. I played chess with Garry Kasparov and he beat me in spite of him playing left-handed!'
His friend replies - 'Ha! You were swindled! Dude, Garry Kasparov is left-handed!!'
If you didn't enjoy that, you won't enjoy these six songs that I am liking a lot at the moment.
Keep knocking off the old Britpop bands off my to do list, oh yes!
Saw the Bluetones for the first time ever last night at Chinnerys, a small 200-capacity venue on the edge of this island (ie the arse end of nowhere), otherwise known as Southend. I love the venue though, with its unfeasibly large stage, classic "restricted view" columns, excellent sound system and
If you have no idea who they are, they were briefly one of the biggest bands in the country, peaking in 1996 with a number 1 album (Expecting To Fly), a number 2 single (Slight Return - held off the top by the wonderful Babylon Zoo) and 3 other top ten hits. If you had no idea they were still going, 2003's Luxembourg and last year's new and eponymous album gives a lot more of the same.
